Skip to main content

Cost of freedom?

It always amuses me how alien locals of metro cities behave when I tell them excitingly that my parents are coming just to meet me. They often shrug their shoulders as if to react- what’s the big deal? When I walk up to my boss asking for a half day or a leave to spend each and every hour with them, they too don’t understand. Probably the world is too used to listen to stories that lonely parents across the world have to tell about missing their kids on Holi, Diwali, and Christmas. Rarely does one come across the story of a young adult slipping into home sickness.



I remember exactly ten years ago when I was packing to leave home to join my dream college. Despite all the best wishes flowing in, I was numb. I did not know what to expect, how to react and most importantly, how to leave without hurting people and making them miss me. First few weeks at the hostel were definitely a honeymoon period, like a summer camp where we were busy bonding, doing activities together. But as kids, we are used to coming back home to narrate stories of our new friends, our adventures, and new learning. Perhaps the worst time is when suddenly you realize there is no going back. In fact, there is not a single thing you can cling to for comfort- everything is unknown, uncertain and you are left alone to pick up the pieces and solve the puzzle all by yourself.
The funniest thing is the gap in expectations from both the sides. First few months, my parents used to call me 3-4 times a day to ask me about my new life, how I am coping with new people etc. They expected a face to face conversation to be replaced by a phone call, a hug or cuddle to be changed into emoticons. They expected me to tell them everything the same way I did when I returned from school. However, nothing was same for me. I was angry, broken inside- still trying to figure out who’s a friend and who’s not because I did not have the choice of running away to home after every childish fight. There were days of depression when I would just pretend to be sleepy or fake irritation or frustration just to make my parents hang up so they don’t know I was crying because I knew they too miss me terribly. Every night out that I would take to party with my friends and on returning find 10 missed calls from my parents to know that I am home, I felt guilty. Every Holi or Diwali when I could not go home, all the lonely souls would gather at a place to do a make shift arrangement- fake a puja, make an abstract rangoli and try to bring all the memories live. But sheepishly would feel jealous and hide a tear looking at lucky kids still being pampered by their elders. Honestly, it’s great to be in-charge of everything but there are few occasions where you just wish to sit back and enjoy seeing your parents do the preparations. I can totally relate to why my parents would do budgeting and cost cutting every year during Durga puja just to visit their native.

Now that its ten years and I am habituated to this freedom and leading a life of my own, I do not miss home. Somehow I have started to believe home is where I can comfortably lie down with a laptop and headphone. In fact until last year when I visited home, I felt captivated because I was made to follow orders as if nothing has changed in last ten years but it has, in reality. I scream, I crib and I feel frustrated about everything- AC not working, Internet connection not up to the speed, boring job, too much work, blah, blah and blah but what I don’t tell them is that- I missed them terribly and there were days when I really wanted to run back to them. This was all I wanted them to know but being too weak to touch the touchy topic and start a melodrama, I preferred to make them realize that my fast track life does not leave me with any time for anyone. Happy and content to find me enjoying my life, they leave peacefully as if they never came but truth to be told, my life goes topsy-turvy. When you are given only 1-2 days to see the people who taught you to see the world, nothing can be more painful than the period that follows the meeting. I dropped them at the airport today and have at least found hundreds of things that I wanted to show my mom- a new dress I bought at an unbelievable price, a new painting that got a lot of likes, pictures from the most recent trip and the list goes on.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Metamorphosis

(Image Source: http://www.slideshare.net/Joy1618/the-metamorphosis-15879135)
One rainy morning, Gregor gets up in the morning and finds out that he has turned into an insect! Instead of panicking over how he turned into a bug and how he can get back into his original form, he was worried how to get to the work as soon as possible. Metamorphosis is a masterpiece by Franz Kafka which is inspired by his own life. The novel revolves around an event which seems to be absurd and unrealistic in real world but has been dealt with utmost practicality. Metamorphosis is a story that has forced me to think about a lot of issues that’s going around in the contemporary world even though the story was written almost a century ago. This post is not a book review but my retrospection over few relevant issues.
The hackneyed term “WLB”- Work Life Balance
Let’s accept this fact that most of the good intentioned organizations also do not understand this term. Even though companies are serious about the wor…

Depression- An insider’s account

A tale of a bossy brain, out of control hormones, a confused heart and a bruised soul
Who would you listen to?
Imagine the best day of your life. What is it like? You wake up at 6 am, hit the gym at 8, workout till you get exhausted, have a healthy breakfast, grab a coffee and show on time to office. You are greeted by cheerful colleagues; you have another round of coffee with them and a gossip session too. Suddenly, there is a crisis in office and you come up with a brilliant idea. Your boss appreciates you, your team loves you. After work, you hang out with your friends. Your parents/partner calls you up and you spend hours chit chatting. Before going to bed, you write a blog post which instantly gets 50 likes. You sleep peacefully like a child.
Now imagine, you wake up in a hospital bed, bandaged and unable to move your legs. You have bunches of flowers around you. All your loved ones are showering you with love, blessings, wishes and sympathy. You try to get up but no one would …

Bards of the Blogosphere: Week 1 Chapter 9- The Confrontation

N.B. - This is the ninth chapter in the 'Game of Blogs' by the team 'Bards of the Blogosphere'. #CelebrateBlogging
Read the previous chapter (8) Here
“Not bad Jenny, you’re doing wonderful!” Jennifer patted her own back. “Now you have actually crossed the guest zone and entered into the family zone. They have started asking you for petty household errands. Good for you for you are so close to your destination." She chuckled in her mind. “Tonight…”
“All this means she’s a kidnapper. She wants to take our princess away from us. How dare she even think of this? I would kill her”, said an agitated Tara. “Tara, calm down. Since morning, we are stuck at the same discussion. You did not go to office today and neither did Roohi go to school. This is not going anywhere. We should call the police.”
On facing a crisis, Shekhar and Tara switched positions. Sweet and gullible stay-home-dad turned into ‘My Daddy Strongest’ and street-smart media person mom became an emotionally …