Thursday, February 14, 2013

A chance encounter with solitude




The mere feeling of being alive and nothing else is not a very positive sign. Life has become a marathon- you run, you become tired, you wait, you see others moving ahead, you gather strength and start again. People you meet do not stay for long, faces you begin to recognize just pass by in moments. You feel sad about it but you have no one to blame because you do the same with others. Ever thought why this alienation, this egotism, this pretension of being the only unmalicious person? First you separate your country then your religion, your state, your city, your colony, your house, your family and then yourself and complain of loneliness? Is it the life you ever wanted when you were a small child waving to every passer by? Didn't you share your tiffin with those who did not bring lunch to school? Did you ever ask your first crush what his/her father's income was? Everyone wished you knowledge and success but in the process of learning, you unlearned the qualities that accompanied you to the earth. 

When I look back, I find my past to be happier. I had no television to watch and would sit beside an old neighbour to talk nonsense. Today, the old lady lives alone with her servants- no one to care and talk to her. I did not have mobile phone to call my dad when he went to office and I would eagerly wait till he comes with some little surprise. Now I have a mobile phone to call him and place my new demands but no time to ask "Why are you so late today? What happened in office?" I never got to eat pizzas and burgers then but I waited for some special occasions to eat puri-sabzi. Now even expensive fine dining does not satisfy my taste buds. I travelled once a year to my native village to meet my grandparents and other relatives. Those used to be the best days of the year for me. I played with the goats, fed the cows, slept beneath the trees. Today, wherever I visit I only search for a suitable place to click for my display pic on facebook and twitter. Life is fun with myriads of ways to spend money and kill time but it is no longer a bliss which my heart yearns for sometimes. 

Today when I was walking along the trees planted on the roadside, something changed. Sun was warm but a cold wave of air came and shook the trees. It rained leaves.It made the birds fly in confusion and for a moment, I saw my past in my present. I had some dry leaves in my hand and an empty road ahead.

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